I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
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I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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