There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
