quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
