around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
this will be a night to untag.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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