omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You've changed since you got that strap on
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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