He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she pinky promised me she was 18
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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