The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
