Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Randomize
