that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
