Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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