Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
