What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize