Its about making memories worth repressing
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
