so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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