I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
