A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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