Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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