I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
