Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
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He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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