Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
