i just wanna soil my oats bro
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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