Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
