I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
