ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
