More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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