ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They took my balls.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart