Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment