Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish you could order shots online.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
