I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
thus making me awesome and them whores
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
