oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
