watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I love you. Go after that dick
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