there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
