if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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