a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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