well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Congratulations! We have a period
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
