There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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