i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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