omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
