i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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