i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You ate ashes out of my bong
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
