the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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