they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
