She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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