just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This baby is an asshole
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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