I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
