i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
