Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize