There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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