You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
