Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
