Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
