We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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