The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
