Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Text me some of your sweat
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
