He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
