I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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