My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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