Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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