You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize