Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
