I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
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The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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