Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
