Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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