so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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